My Grandkids

was 67 years old last Monday. I have 3 sons and 4.6 grandsons. The newest is due in 3 months, which will be January 2013. My wife says she would be considered a Queen in China for having all these masculine dependents, I told her she is considered a Queen here. So what do I want to write about my Grandkids, I'm thinking pretty much the same thing every Grandparent and specifically Grandfathers want to say? I said in the summary that it's my job to spoil them and that's a good place to start this article.

I tell young people with little kids that are driving them crazy to sell them at about 10 and then buy them back again when they have a good paying job. Surviving the teen years with my three sons was an adventure. I'll bet a lot of people that read this can identify with what I'm saying. I think the movie "Parenthood" captured what I'm talking about extremely well. I will just end this thought by mentioning that my middle son is a lawyer, but during his teen years I was pretty sure I was going to need a lawyer for him. LOL

Let me get back to the thought that it's my job to spoil the grandkids. The fact that they are all boys has nothing to do with it; I could even easier spoil granddaughters. I have thought about why I have a different attitude with the grandkids and I've concluded it's because I have a different equity. With my sons I felt a very strong responsibility to parent them successfully. I had to make sure, with the help of my wife that they did well in school, behaved properly in public, and stayed out of trouble in general. I don't feel the same pressure one generation removed. It's not my responsibility anymore.

I had a parental style that didn't allow me to spoil my own kids too much, but much to my surprise right off with the first grandchild 12 years ago now, I had no trouble what so ever taking on this role. My attitude changed in other ways too. Things that drove me crazy with my own kids amused me with the grandkids. Now I do have a limit, but if the grandkids want to throw a little fit, or don't want to eat the stewed carrots served at dinner, or aren't ready to go to bed, etc., etc., I don't care too much. When I'm done playing with them they go home, so what harm was done, I'm happy.

I guess if I was one of the grandparents who were more or less raising their grandchild I might feel different but I'm not so I take advantage of the situation. Want to play with worms, no problem, let's go find some. Don't worry we won't tell you mother. If she finds them in your pocket don't tell her I was involved. I did give the first grandson half a stick of chewing gum before his Mother thought he was ready and she came in and caught us and the little rascal pointed to me immediately. He rated on me. Not good, had to be more careful after that.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm always looking for things to expose the grandkids to that will be educational or beneficial to their development. The science center or a trip to the museum is good and I enjoy it too. But if they just want to play in a cardboard box and pretend they are a duck in an egg I can handle that also. The main thing is I am much more relaxed as a grandparent than I was ever able to be as a parent. Bill Cosby had a line in one of his comedy routine where he explained to his kids that his parents were not the people who had raised him, "these are old people trying to get into heaven".

I once talked with my friend Dan that you need a license for just about anything you want to do but not to be a parent. I think it's the one thing that should be mandatory. People should have to pass a test to have kids. Not so to be a Grandparent. It's an easier job, hard to mess up. It's very limited liability. But anybody who wants can have children and without any instruction on how to handle the job. It can be very tough, not everybody can handle the job. Dr. Spock had his book out when we started having the boys and in retrospect maybe Mr. Spock would have been better to listen to.

Now with the grandkids there just doesn't seem to be too much pressure. Just play with them and spoil them, and that seemed like a most natural thing to do for me. I don't get into trying to give advice too much. The parents wouldn't really be too receptive to any advice anyway, so unless they ask I don't offer. It has worked out pretty good so far. I slip in a few things now and then that they don't even recognize as being advice. Since I'm not raising any of them I'm pretty much off the hook. So with 4, soon to be 5, I can easily fill up my comfort level by seeing each of them about every other week. Then having fun and spoiling them is about all I really can fit in before their on their way back home.

Now I hope you don't mind me just sharing a part of my life and trying to add a little humor. I'm certainly not trying to suggest anyone should adopt my attitude or behavior. In fact if you want to send me back a note with a suggestion or two of your own, I'll welcome any thoughts you may have. I might not adopt them but I will be glad to listen. Anyway, my job is to spoil my grandkids and I'm having a lot of f