grandparent, there are many things you can do to help out when a new grandchild is born. For each one, the need may be different depending on the particular circumstances.
When my first grandchild was born, I cooked meals ahead and put them in the freezer so cooking wasn't an issue for the first week or so. However, it is best to ask first. Some people prefer their own style of cooking. When this particular grandchild was born, I also bought a fiscus plant. She is fourteen years old now and the plant is nearly as tall as she is. (However, plants may not always be welcome either).
When a second one was born, I looked after the baby so that the parents could get some much needed sleep. Also, when nursing wasn't the success the new mother had hoped for, I picked up formula and bottles, sterilizing the bottles and then making up the formula. And when their second baby was born, I looked after both children so that the tired parents could catch up on their sleep. Although we all know that after the birth of a new baby it takes a lot more than that to be caught up.
When another one was born, both parents were uncomfortable with bathing the new baby so I gave the first bath and suggested that they could sponge bath the baby until they felt more comfortable handling her. I also, in this case too, looked after the baby while they caught up on their sleep. Sleep deprivation is a common problem with new parents and can make what really is a small problem seem monumental.
When the next grandchild is born, I'm sure my role will be to take the older child to karate and piano classes and possibly pick her up from school and I will likely spend extra time with her so she doesn't feel left out. I'm sure also that I will look after both children so that their parents can get, as all new parents need, some uninterrupted sleep.
Sometimes with a new baby, first time parents just have to be reassured that things are going as they should be. Yes, babies most often initially wake up to be fed every two hours, especially nursed babies. Those babies that are being nursed often fall asleep before they're full as it is hard work compared to being fed with a bottle. But the benefits of being nursed are significant to the baby. And yes, some babies do cry more than others. They each have their own personalities just as grown-ups do.
Many new parents look for answers from their friends, who are also new parents searching for answers. As a grandparent it is wise not to offer unsolicited advise even though you have the advantage of having already raised children. If they come to you with a question, that is the time to offer your help in that area. How the answer is worded will be important also, especially at a time when emotions are running on high.
The most important thing we can do as grandparents is to extend our offers of help. Some of our children will jump at the chance for a little assistance and others will want to manage on their own. That is their choice But offering is key; at least they know that help is only a simple request away.
Sylvia Behnish has had numerous articles published in magazines and newspapers in both Canada and the U.S. as well as online on subjects relating to families, parenting and grandparenting.
She has also published 'A Rollercoaster Ride With Brain Injury (For Loved Ones)' detailing the first difficult year following a brain injury; 'His Sins', a three generation fictional story about a family from Scotland and, 'Life's Challenges: A Short Story Collection', a collection of twenty-one storie
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