Grandparents Have So Much to Give

side help to get by and cope with the demands of daily life, especially if there has been a serious family setback like divorce, bereavement or redundancy to cope with. Grandparents can provide valuable help, advice and support, especially at times like this; they have so much to give.

- Financial help; grandparents may have better financial resources than their children. They may have paid off their mortgage, be retired with less overheads, perhaps have sold their business or have down-sized their home and are happy to help with their grandchildren's upkeep, perhaps by contributing towards their education or helping out financially in other important ways. A grandparent's financial support can relieve a stressful financial burden from the family's shoulders.

- Time is something that many grandparents are happy to give, perhaps being in a position where they have time to drop off or pick up children from school, baby sit, spend hours happily watching sports matches or concerts. Many grandparents are often happy to be able to undertake these duties, sometimes glad to do things that they were too busy to do when their own children were growing up.

- Adult support for young children can sometimes be especially valuable when it comes from a grandparent. Because they are older they have the advantage of being loved, respected and valued as a close family member whilst being regarded as experienced in life, parenting and sufficiently removed from the immediate family group to be able to stand back and appreciate arguments, disagreements and issues from both sides. A grandchild may be prepared to reveal their fears, concerns and problems to a grandparent but be loathe to risk confiding in their parent for fear of upsetting or adding to their existing stresses and worries.

- Neutrality can be important in certain situations. A parent may be too close to their recent divorce, too affected by their child's unruly behaviour or annoyed by perceived unreasonable requests. A grandparent may well be able to see things from both sides and act as a neutral arbiter, prepared to find areas of compromise and negotiation in difficult matters.

- A link to the past is important. Many children are interested and intrigued by 'long ago' times past when their grandparents were young. Grandparents are often happy to spend time telling stories about their own childhood, their children's childhood, sharing photographs, memories and fascinating revelations about mummy or daddy when they were young. That link is important as it provides a child with roots and a feeling of security.

Grandparents can provide a safe pair of hands when children need them most. However, all too often one set of grandparents may be relied on more heavily than the other. This may be because they are logistically closer or feel to be more 'on side' and supportive, but valuing the important role that grandparents can play in your children's lives often introduces a richness that is unique to that very special relationship. Grandparents have so much to give.

Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief, with couples experiencing relationship difficulties to improve communications a